Two emails, one phone call and a handful of hours

It's amazing how quickly and suddenly life can change direction. Unexpected change always bears the greatest emotional toll be it saddness or elation and everything in between. Such is the weight of this emotional toll that more than a handful of souls wander this planet in avid fear of changes in life. Others like me experience unexpected change so often that it almost starts to define an existence, evolves into an addiction for the new, the unique no matter how possibly twisted or destructive.

So, what the hell is going on now you ask? Well everything that I had mentioned about 2009 for me 3 entries ago is out the window. Gone is the idea of settling down for a while. Gone is idea of companionship. I had typed an explaination of events here, but after a highlight and a delete, I'll just give you the end game.
I'm not going to KL anymore. I'm not settling for a while. It wasn't my choice, it wasn't something I wanted. However it's a situation I'll accept out of trust and respect.
At the end of the day there's only so much one can do, and only so much one can take. It's at this point that walking away is best for all. It just sucks that after all this time, after all the effort, the tears, the anguish and pain, that it all comes to naught. But ce la vie.


What now? Dunno. When I work it out I'll let you know. Either way, I'm fully paid up for the CELTA certification so that will go ahead in any case. I'm thinking of South Korea as a destination to go teaching. Maybe it might be a good time to do that China overland trip I have always been thinking about.
Right now, I'm torn between re-attaching, re-connecting to those I care about and finding some semblence of care and warmth.
Or revel in the pain and emptiness. Dissapear completely off the face of this planet for a while. Live life in amongst strangers in estranged places.
Time will tell, as always.