That didn't take long

As the title might suggest, my little spat of sadness is pretty much over. I'm too lazy to mope around much and there's always the realisation that the world is going to move on regardless of how pathetic one might feel. So it's time to pick up my nuts which had been throughly kicked and keep on walking. I'm going to be on this world for a while so I figure I might as well do something useful while I'm here.

Really looking forward to getting home and getting onto some rock actually. As mentioned, will be back for a Sydney summer which is always a good thing. Awefully temping to go visit Brisbane as well seeing as there is a growing number of long lost friends there.
Oh I forgot to mention, I managed to get some climbing done in Africa this shift around. Believe it or not, there's actually a growing climbing scene here in Bamako, started by a budding group of French climbers. They visit every year to put up more routes and check on existing ones.
So below are some shots of the terrain (which I might say is awefully similar to the Blue Mountains in Oz) and of me falling and farting my way up a couple of climbs.

Two emails, one phone call and a handful of hours

It's amazing how quickly and suddenly life can change direction. Unexpected change always bears the greatest emotional toll be it saddness or elation and everything in between. Such is the weight of this emotional toll that more than a handful of souls wander this planet in avid fear of changes in life. Others like me experience unexpected change so often that it almost starts to define an existence, evolves into an addiction for the new, the unique no matter how possibly twisted or destructive.

So, what the hell is going on now you ask? Well everything that I had mentioned about 2009 for me 3 entries ago is out the window. Gone is the idea of settling down for a while. Gone is idea of companionship. I had typed an explaination of events here, but after a highlight and a delete, I'll just give you the end game.
I'm not going to KL anymore. I'm not settling for a while. It wasn't my choice, it wasn't something I wanted. However it's a situation I'll accept out of trust and respect.
At the end of the day there's only so much one can do, and only so much one can take. It's at this point that walking away is best for all. It just sucks that after all this time, after all the effort, the tears, the anguish and pain, that it all comes to naught. But ce la vie.


What now? Dunno. When I work it out I'll let you know. Either way, I'm fully paid up for the CELTA certification so that will go ahead in any case. I'm thinking of South Korea as a destination to go teaching. Maybe it might be a good time to do that China overland trip I have always been thinking about.
Right now, I'm torn between re-attaching, re-connecting to those I care about and finding some semblence of care and warmth.
Or revel in the pain and emptiness. Dissapear completely off the face of this planet for a while. Live life in amongst strangers in estranged places.
Time will tell, as always.

Turning brain cells into spak filler

How does one begin to describe the mind numbing decent into insanity that waiting around in Africa for weeks on end causes? I don't know, so I'm not going to try. The remedies however I can narrate.
Some have attempted living in a perpetual state of alcohol narcosis. Some have gone native indulging the more than willing locals in a bit of rough and tumble. Me however (considering my disdain for spending money here and my wish to enjoy my retirement without HIV), I've decided the often misunderstood art of human hibernation is the answer. Save for the most basic of bodily functions most of my time is spent observing the back of my eyelids and trying to avoid my blood pooling too much on one side of my body.

Forced hibernation though is not as simple or easy as it sounds. You need an absolute abscence of light, almost zero amibient sound as well as a dogged determination to fight off the bodys natural tendency to arise after about ten hours of sleeping. One word of caution, one that any nurse of veterency will tell you, turn often and avoid lying on limbs lest you wake up to find 'mystery bruises' peppering your body.

Sure I could do other things you say. I could read, I could learn a new language, I could wander the streets and appreciate the African middle ground in which Mali's society sits. But at the end of the day, it's a lot simpler and a heck of a lot less sweaty to just sleep the time away.
Cause behind it all, I really just want to get the fuck out of here. Every waking moment taunts me reminds me that I'm still in a forgotten land, miles from where I'd choose to be.

Yes life could be worse for me. I only have to look outside my window and at the blurb of this blog to realise that. But then again, life could also be a lot better. The only thing worse than getting stuck somewhere you're not too fond of is when you're stuck there with somewhere much better to go.

High ambition, impatience and stubborness are not good stable mates let alone a formua which to live life. One invariablely stumbles from one experience to another, never truly happy with the current state of affairs. Ask any parent what occurs when their seemingly happy child see a new toy and you'll get the idea. I guess some of these kids grow up and mature, others just get older =P.

So, dawns another day. Much like every other for the last month and a half. At least I managed to get another whinge session out to the wild blue yonder. Laugh when times are good. Endure when times are bad. Complain like no tomorrow when in between. Hah! There must be some British blood in me somewhere.