Back in the saddle

It's a hot sunny day here in little country Cleve. The main street hums with activity as the locals from around the countryside wander in to town. They meet, shop, chat, laugh, chat some more in a weekend ritual that seems to have been practised since the dawn of man.

Mum's scurry, cars buzz, kids trail happily along munching on whatever sweet bribes their parents have bestowed in order to get a few moments peace.
There's a slight breeze, only enough to tickle the cheek and dry the sweat of the farmer, busy packing his ute for the week of work to come.
Wispful clouds arch high and back into the sky, blazing a trail for dreamers and flyers a like. It's a good day to be embracing the sun.

Despite all this, I sit here in my little cubby hole of a room. Airconditioning droning with it's endless 'ruuunnnuuu, ruuunnnuu, runnnuu'.
Being on side street, the sounds of activity seem a world away, with only an ever persistent fly to keep me company...

Well, I'm back at work. Currently down on the Eyre Peninsula in a little town called Cleve. It's a quaint little town with a fair bit of infrastructure despite having a population not over 200 people. It's basically a massive farming area and one could see how busy this place would get given the right amount of rain. Right now the ground is parched and brown, dust blowing around everywhere when the wind gets up. It s a welcome change from the usual red dust of outback mining towns and the oysters here are yes 'cheaper by the dozen'.

It's been a week or so now back at work and I'm slowly getting back in to the swing. My break was an exhausting one for various reasons and it's good to get back to some sort of routine again. Of late, well in the last few days anyway there's been the moments of reflection on this job that seem to come up every now and then.
Same questions. Same answers
Where is it going?
What is it for?
What after?

Does there need to be any reason at all anyway or can it be like any other soul plugging away to make a living?

I seem to have a great ability to make my life a lot more complicated than it needs to be and coupled with a tendency to seek meaning in things that don't neseccarily have any, I tend to get lost in what I do from time to time.
One thing I have realised more and more with this job is that the way you view it will determine the things you do and hence what you get out of it.

As a job, it's a pretty cruisy one, well paid and varied. As a job one could plug away happily for quite some time, catching up with loved ones whenever break rolls around.
As an opportunity to adventure and explore however you tend to live in the moments a bit more. Place a little more meaning to what you do. Also the time you spend in the field stretches out until there's a reason to get on break.
Right now I'm seeming to swing between the two. On one hand it's a lot easier to see it as a job. Get on with things and do what you need to get to the next break where you can spend time with friends and family. On the other, I set out on this with a sense of purpose, of travel, adventure and it would be a shame to loose that shine, that spark. The downside is that it is a very lonely path to tread, one where relationships that exist get put on hold, and new ones that come up only go so far. How happy I am with this I am yet to determine.

I put a lot of value in the people I choose to keep near me on an ongoing basis. There's a constant nagging thought that I'm missing out on memories and the experiences with them that make them the friends that they are. Especially when they're in a new phase of life, somewhere I may be headed one day, namely children. One friend in particular has had a head start and is working on number 2. I had grand notions of visiting often. Seeing, watching, getting involved. It's because of opportunities that I miss that I question what I do.

Seems silly in the overall sense. Choose something, do it well and be happy with what you get. That's the way it's meant to work. In all it's altruistic glory. But I'm too greedy for that right now. I want it all. To see it all, to live it all, have them all as memories, not as stories I've been told.

Don't know where I'm really heading with this bit of a rant, but it's an insight to where my head and heart are right now. In flux, between settling now or continuing the chosen path.
There is more to the story of course. Much more. But considering the purpose and the reading audience of this blog I'll leave it to tell on an individual basis.

Lastly for the day, I don't know how many of you are still reading this after that initial flurry of interest. But to all those who drop by, thank you. From the deepest part of my soul thank you for being an audience to this particular show. It would means a lot less should you not be here.